The A11
One of the good things about living in Norwich:
There are no motorways into the city.
So it takes a long time to get here.
(Unless you are coming from somewhere close by,
in which case, it doesn't take so long)
There used to be no dual carriageways in Norfolk either.
But gradually we've reluctantly had a few built.
So, not many people come, and certainly nobody just passes through.
That's why it's quiet.
That's why its good.
Surprising then that one of our dual carriageways should be in the news the other day.
With some geezer driving up the wrong way.
And hitting (apparently) four cars.
I've always wondered how people get onto the road to drive the wrong way.
People have probably looked at me, and wondered why I'm going the wrong way too.
Fortunately non of my misadventures have been up a motorway.
Mine tend to involve hammers, drills, lawnmowers.
Or maybe my approach to being a father, friend, colleague or partner.
Next time you see me doing something stupid - do me a favour. Yell.
These thoughts remind me of a joke - the punch line is ' psychopath', just in case you younger readers don't get it.....
A Motorway goes into a pub and shouts:
"OI. I'M A MOTORWAY, SIX LANES, TWO HARD SHOULDERS, AND A CENTRAL RESERVATION. I WANT A BEER, AND I MEAN NOW COS' I'M THAT HARD"
The barman serves him.
Shortly afterwards a Dual Carriageway comes into the pub.
The Motorway shouts,
"OI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE, I'M A MOTORWAY AND DEAD HARD, SO WATCH IT"
The Dual carriageway says "it's OK mate I only want a beer, no trouble" and continues with his life.
Then a small piece of red coloured tarmac goes into the bar.
On seeing it, the Motorway stops drinking and runs around to hide behind the Dual Carriageway. "what's up?" asks the Dual Carriageway.
The Motorway says "I'm not here, you haven't seen me. Schtum"
The Dual Carriageway says "you aren't afraid of that little bit of red coloured tarmac are you?"
The Motorway replies:
"It may only be a bit of coloured tarmac to you, but I happen to know that it's a raving cyclepath"
One of the good things about living in Norwich:
There are no motorways into the city.
So it takes a long time to get here.
(Unless you are coming from somewhere close by,
in which case, it doesn't take so long)
There used to be no dual carriageways in Norfolk either.
But gradually we've reluctantly had a few built.
So, not many people come, and certainly nobody just passes through.
That's why it's quiet.
That's why its good.
Surprising then that one of our dual carriageways should be in the news the other day.
With some geezer driving up the wrong way.
And hitting (apparently) four cars.
I've always wondered how people get onto the road to drive the wrong way.
People have probably looked at me, and wondered why I'm going the wrong way too.
Fortunately non of my misadventures have been up a motorway.
Mine tend to involve hammers, drills, lawnmowers.
Or maybe my approach to being a father, friend, colleague or partner.
Next time you see me doing something stupid - do me a favour. Yell.
These thoughts remind me of a joke - the punch line is ' psychopath', just in case you younger readers don't get it.....
A Motorway goes into a pub and shouts:
"OI. I'M A MOTORWAY, SIX LANES, TWO HARD SHOULDERS, AND A CENTRAL RESERVATION. I WANT A BEER, AND I MEAN NOW COS' I'M THAT HARD"
The barman serves him.
Shortly afterwards a Dual Carriageway comes into the pub.
The Motorway shouts,
"OI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE, I'M A MOTORWAY AND DEAD HARD, SO WATCH IT"
The Dual carriageway says "it's OK mate I only want a beer, no trouble" and continues with his life.
Then a small piece of red coloured tarmac goes into the bar.
On seeing it, the Motorway stops drinking and runs around to hide behind the Dual Carriageway. "what's up?" asks the Dual Carriageway.
The Motorway says "I'm not here, you haven't seen me. Schtum"
The Dual Carriageway says "you aren't afraid of that little bit of red coloured tarmac are you?"
The Motorway replies:
"It may only be a bit of coloured tarmac to you, but I happen to know that it's a raving cyclepath"
Comments:
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Well, it might have been funnier in a black sort of way if the punch line had been “It’s the Attleborough bypass - it’s killed more people than Chuck Norris does in a film” (we won’t go into why it might be red).
Incidentally, did you hear that Chuck Norris is a Christian? Chuck must use Benny Hinn’s “Holy Spirit machine gun” in his films. That makes it all OK. So, all you young youth church readers let me recommend Chuck’s films – they’re all about evangelism.
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Incidentally, did you hear that Chuck Norris is a Christian? Chuck must use Benny Hinn’s “Holy Spirit machine gun” in his films. That makes it all OK. So, all you young youth church readers let me recommend Chuck’s films – they’re all about evangelism.
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