Dear Dad

Imagine this, I got home from a hard day in the office to find a very tidy son's bedroom, which is pretty unusual, with this letter lying on the pillow:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to leave before you got home, and run away with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I have been finding real passion with R*** (omitted by blogger for reasons of confidentiality) and she is so nice - even with all her piercing, tattoos and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it is not only the passion dad, she is pregnant and we are sure we'll be very happy together.
Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a small caravan in the woods and has stacks of firewood too last us through winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
R*** taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so she can get better; she sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I am 18 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I am sure we'll be back to visit you so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son, always,

P.S. Dad, none of this is true - I'm over in the neighbours house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my exam results and school report, that are both in the desk - second drawer down.

Love you - please call when it's safe for me to come home.

ok now i'm really confused because the exam results are out in August...
I'm just saying it's ok son, don't worry.....just do what you do best....
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