I have a confession
Brace yourselves
I forgot to do my duty
As security guard
Two Sundays ago
Thereby leaving
Worshippers in a perilous state
And so I say
I am sorry
Come to Church this coming Sunday
Or at our Carol Service
On 21st December
at 6.30 pm
And I will make it up to you.

That confession should shorten your time in purgatory a bit.

Now sir, could I also interest you in some indulgences? £100.15 per ton, but just for I'll sell 5 tons at £100.00 per ton! A deal?
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